Update: Cheating with an “Update” Post

Hey, it’s me, BBK. I’m just dropping in for my semi-irregular “I’m not dead” update. It’s so that I can feel good about posting without actually posting anything of consequence (as if my posts are anything but consequential).

And I make no promises, but I may or may not be posting more in the near or distant future.

There, happy? A post no one wanted.

Thanks, Obama.

Cheers,

BBK

P.S. Oh, and some weirdo nominated us for more award stuff. Call up the strippers and birthday cake boys. We’ll be posting about it soon (or not).

P.P.S. And for some substance – as well as for the sake of cute Internet animals – here’s a picture of Moose torturing a guinea pig.

Moose and White Guinea Pig | The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

Spreading Crazy Smiles… Or Just Spreading the Crazy [An Awards Post]

Yet another misguided soul has bestowed upon me some blog love and I’m too lazy to think up a meaty post. So here we go again, folks.

spreadincrazysmiles over at From One Crazy Life To Another has shouted at me and given me an award for some reason. Let’s see. Apparently, she’s fallen for my “I’m extremely intelligent” and “my posts are awesome” shtick. Well. Good for her. But I am jealous of her tagline “spreading the craziness, one smile at a time” and may or may not be plotting a hostile takeover of her blog (jk, jk…) 

Keep Calm and Blog On Award | The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

So let’s continue with the giving of the mad props. According to spreadincrazysmiles, alls I needs to do is recommend 7 to 10 blogs. Easy enough. The only thing better than spreading craziness is spreading love – good god, did I just write that… Anywho, from one crazy life to another, here are 7 blogs that I nominate for the Keep Calm and Blog On Shout Out Award:

1. Heart of a Lunatic: In one post, this self-monikered “lunatic” described himself as valuing his heart over his mind. This is apparent in his writings – but what makes them even better is how present his mind is nonetheless. His free writing style is a definite plus. Recommended reading: “Fuck the Consequences”

2.  The Mumble On: A progressive, open-minded Christian. More than happy to help spread his gospel of good sense and interesting opinions. Pretty damn okay by my [good] book. Recommended reading: “In which this isn’t just about women”

3. A Listophile’s Haven: 1) I have a thing for lists. 2) This blog is almost nothing but lists. 3) And these lists are funny as shit. 4) She also blogs at Wanton Creation. Recommended reading: “Special Towel Day Edition: My top 10 Douglas Adams quotes”

4. The Boozy Barista: All you need to know is in the title. This blog involves coffee, booze, and often times both in the same concoction. I have yet to try making any of the drinks, but it’s definitely on my to-do list. I mean damn – the pictures on the site give me a helluva thirst. If only I wasn’t so lazy… Recommended reading: “Apfelkuchen”

5. Zealous Scripts: Tiana Lopez runs this hearty endeavor of a blog and her mission seems to be to share her love of reading and writing. In addition, she seeks to bring readers and writers together through her work and features a writer every week in her Spotlight. Lovely, lovely idea. And I don’t often read poetry, but for whatever it’s worth  her work actually appealed to me. Recommended reading: “The Forgotten”

6. Desmond the Wolf: Poetry and Diatribes for the Tribe: Okay, okay, I know I just said I don’t read much poetry, but Desmond the Wolf was also an exception. His poetry is raw and deliciously uncensored. And best of all, they aren’t horribly convoluted for the sake of art and “deepness.” And I just love his tagline. He had me completely at “tribe.” Recommended reading: “Advice from someone who shouldn’t give advice”

7. Professional Moron: … Follow the blog. Just do it. Don’t think too hard about the posts. Just laugh. And then let the deceptive moronism slowly overwhelm your brain. Recommended reading: “Apocalypse Scenarios We’d Heartily Embrace!”

There are a gazillion fantastic, interesting, captivating, hilarious, intelligent, wacky, [insert complimentary adjective of choice] blogs out there, but I cannot read and/or recommend all of them. So once again, thanks spreadincrazysmiles for the shout out. It’s always an awesome feeling to know that not all my ramblings are completely shelved in a dark, dusty nook of the vast interwebs. All I can do is pass around the blogging love and encourage you to do the same.

Cheers,
BBK

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

I’m a Beautiful Butterfly of Light (Suck It, Miss Universe)

No, not really, but I thought it’d be a fun BS post and it gives me an excuse to plug janeybgood’s blog Cupid or Cats. Now there’s a real Butterfly of Light. Thanks to her generosity of allowing any yahoo Jack and Jill to pick up this award, yours truly BBK is now a glimmering, shimmering Butterfly of Light. (And it was even easier than becoming an Ordained Dudeist Minister).

Butterfly of Light Award | The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

Here are the so-called rules:

1. You must write an acceptance post, making sure you link back to the blogger who awarded you and thank them. You may not lump this award in with a batch of other awards.

2. You must individually name and re-award to a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 9999999 bloggers. You must let them know either personally with a comment on their blog OR a pingback (I’d suggest their about page)

3. You must link back to Belinda’s blog either to http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/i-love-charismatic-geeks/ OR http://idiotwriting.wordpress.com/about/ 

4. You must write a short paragraph entitled either “How I’m Spreading Light” OR “How I’m A Positive Influence”

5. Display the “Butterfly Light Award” badge on your blog

It all sounds pretty fascist to me, but no matter. Freedom’s for rednecks and nudist colonies. (But let’s bend the rules anyway).

First up: the nominees. What I love most about blog awards is getting off on the empty ego stroking and what I love second most about blog awards is that I get a chance to give you a look at some blogs I’ve recently enjoyed. And because I can’t plug all y’all’s blogs in this post, I’ll do what I did with my last awards post and say you are free to snatch up this award for yourself and pass it on. I’m all for shameless self-promotion. All you have to do is share the love by nominating some more great blogs.

Blogs Worth Checking Out (in no particular order):

How I’m a Positive Influence:

…… I’m going to cheat and let Louis CK do the talking for me (NSFW language, I guess).

In short, the Internet is a context that helps me lose my expressive inhibitions and allows me to try out my writing on you fellow seekers of knowledge. I like making people smile and offering my take on life (like everyone else on the interwebs) and I definitely love interacting with you guys. Blogging has been something of a blast so far and reading and hearing from you folks is pretty much 90% of what makes it so fun (with the rest of the 10% composed of cat picture posts and jerking around with fundamentalists). So you’re obviously very opposite a “worthless piece of shit” and are the very light that warms the wings of this humble butterfly.

(Whew, is it over yet?)

Cheers,
BBK
[and Moose is here somewhere]

[Insert Creative Award Post Title Here]: I’m Not Cynical Enough

What has the Internet come to?

To think that societal truisms and cheap jabs at Scientology are enough to get fellow bloggers Sophia Hudson and LividFrost to think you’re “lovely” and “versatile,” respectively. Bloggette Comrades, I think you should get your heads checked (but thank you kindly anyway). 

Liebster Award Rules


Liebster Award |The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

  • Display the award on your blog.
  • Nominees must answer the eleven questions given to them by the person who nominated them.
  • Nominees must choose eleven of their favorite bloggers that have less than 200 followers to answer their own set of questions.
  • When you are nominated you cannot nominate the person that nominated you.
  • After choosing your nominees, drop them a comment/pingback telling them that you have nominated them.

Versatile Blogger Award Rules


Versatile Blogger Award | The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

  • Display the award on your blog
  • Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Present 15 deserving bloggers with the award.
  • Link your nominees in the post and let them know of their nomination with a comment.
  • Post seven things about yourself.

Since I’m more for guidelines rather than rules – out of principle, not laziness, of course – I’ll choose 10 bloggers, answer the questions, post questions of my own, and spill 5 things about myself. All rebellions begin small, you see. Nominees can snatch up either award (or both) – I don’t mind. Just pass on the love.

In no conscious order, the nominees are…


Sophia Hudson’s Not-so-FAQs


1. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do?

Your mother. (I’m sorry. It couldn’t be helped (your mother, I mean).)

2. What is your best quality?

My saccharine charm.

3. Describe your best friend and what makes you so close.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Unless he’s in a drunken stupor, he’s always always watching out for me.

4. What do you believe happens after death?

I will be reincarnated as a glorious meatball. If I’m good, I’ll be draped in extra acidic tomato sauce.

5. What’s your “type” (if you have one)?

Helvetica.

6. What was the last thing you cried about?

Onions.

7. What was the last thing that made you smile?

Onions.

8. Describe your home.

Suspicious question.

9. What’s your dream job?

Independent bookstore owner.

1o. How old were you when you had your first kiss (if you’ve had it yet, I haven’t!)?

I don’t kiss and tell.

11. What is one thing you would never, ever do?

Write a blog award post.

Questions for You (I’d love to hear everyone’s answers in the comments, too, even if you weren’t “officially nominated”)


1. What talent do you wish you had (that you don’t already have)?

2. Are you prepared for the impending zombie apocalypse?

3. Worst book you’ve ever read?

4. If you could smack one person in the face (living or dead), who would it be and why?

5. Will you go out with me? Yes/No (Circle one)

5 Things You Didn’t Want to Know About BBK (and Sir Moose, but we won’t tell you which ones)


1. I’ve circumnavigated the world and been on four continents.

2. One of my favorite books is The Stranger by Albert Camus.

3. I have ovaries.

4. I sincerely dream of saving the world – or saving humanity from its own destruction at the very least.

5. I have always been insecure about my intelligence and my identity in our society and try to make up for it in sarcasm/arrogance/distance. I am truly soft in the middle. My favorite pastime is laughing at stupid people.

Once again, a special thanks to Sophia Hudson and LividFrost for the ego boost. To my fellow bloggers of knowledge and the rest of you reading this, feel free to pick up an award or two. Thank you all and keep on keeping on.