Lesson Quickie: A Hairless Ape is a Sexy Ape

Look through the Victoria’s Secret catalog you have on your bedside table. Don’t lie to me, just get it out. Now keep your pants on – what do you see? Slinky models? Freakishly long legs? Personal nighttime fodder?

Man on stilts - March Fourth Marching Band

Sexual selection of disparate torso-leg proportions runs amok.

I see selection, sexy sexual selection.

People often cite the platypus as an example of God’s sense of humor. Humans are far funnier.

We’re bipedal, long and gangly. We have patches of hair that don’t do anything to keep us warm or protect us in anyway. Penises and breasts make running and jumping uncomfortable, unless you have the goal of taking an eye out.

The list of oddities goes on and on.

But we would be foolish to say that these features are impractical, that they serve no evolutionary purpose. On the contrary, they serve one of the most fundamental processes of life.

Bow chicka wow wow.

The Takeaway:

As a general rule of thumb, if you can’t for the life of you figure out why the hell an animal has a certain “out there” trait that makes no “practical” sense, remember to think about sex.