Quick Thought: Costco, You Sly Bastard

Idiocracy Costco

“Welcome to Costco… I love you.”

Gets me everytime.

Does Costco really love me? Does it really? Cut the crap. If Costco really had the interest of the customers in mind, the place wouldn’t be set up like a goddamn labyrinth with their products constantly changing positions each time you check it out. Weren’t the Cheerios down an aisle? I could have sworn the mayonnaise six-pack was on the other side of the store…

And why is it a labyrinth? To confuse us on purpose. To push new products into our consumer snouts. To force us to walk by product after useless product that we didn’t even come here to buy. Soon our cart’s got a carton of box wine, a 64 bag snack back, an all new and improved LCD plasma screen, an electric keyboard, a mahogany bunk bed frame, and four conjoined tubs of Crisco.

When all you came for was a hot dog and a pack of chap stick.

They know exactly what they’re doing. Don’t try to fool me with your “I love you’s…”

Oh! Coupons!


2 thoughts on “Quick Thought: Costco, You Sly Bastard

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