Lesson Quickie: The Platinum Rule

“Be fair with others, but keep after them until they’re fair with you.”

Alan Alda (1936- )

Have you heard of The Golden Rule? Of course you have. You’re a socially aware, up-to-date human being, who loves Norman Rockwell. If however, you are none of those, let me get you up to speed:

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Even if you haven’t heard of this as “The Golden Rule,” you’ve likely heard variations of it. Treat people how you want to be treated. Be nice. In essence, don’t be an asshole.

However, have you heard of The Platinum Rule?

“Treat others in the way they like to be treated.”

In essence, Don’t Be An Asshole version 2.0.

The Platinum Rule is really the maxim that should be taught to us as kids. What if Little Jimmy actually likes being pushed around and pissed on on daily basis? Is it okay for him to run around enacting this golden ritual on other kids? Everyone has their own special brand of weirdness and while we often find others with compatible weirdness, no two weirdnesses are exactly alike. I mean, how many times have two people stripped and jumped into bed only to find out that one’s only into some Fifty Shades shit and the other’s only into furry shit?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains dogs and cats excite me.

But I’m digressing.

Quickie Wrap-up:

Compromise. Sympathize. Empathize. Wear the leather bustier one night and the fox costume the next night. Don’t assume everyone’s into the same kinks as you are. Don’t assume you’re the be-all end-all of what’s in and out. Most likely, you don’t even know what day of the week it is [Hint: It ends in “y”]. Communicate and just remember to not be an asshole, capisce?

But also remember not to be a pansy. Make sure others exercise The Platinum Rule with you in return. (Still, try not to be an asshole about it, though.)


6 thoughts on “Lesson Quickie: The Platinum Rule

  1. Pingback: A: The Anniversary of The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know | The Big Blog of All the Shit I Know

  2. Don’t be an asshole. Amen! What to do about the people who are completely unaware, or in denial of their ability to be a pervasive asshole all the time?

  3. I can handle the golden rule, but this platinum rule throws a new kink in things. Rim jobs and golden showers will never be a skill I’ll master regardless of what end I’m on.

    Compromise? Sure, compromise is useful if you’re playing the game with someone who plays by your rules (the normal rules…tit-for-tat…you fcuk with me I fcuk with you…you help me I help you). Empathize, understand how someone else might feel, yeah, I can do that, or at least respect that someone might be angry, sad, hurt or happy even where it makes no sense. Sympathize, as in display some kind of outward empathy or emotion, hmmmm, you’re starting to lose me here. I think I’m starting to twitch.

    • Oh if we were to live in the perfect world, the platinum rule would simply come natural to us. But alas, it makes people like you and even me twitch. Even I’m not flexible enough for rim jobs and golden showers. At that point, person with said fetishes and I can agree to disagree, wish each other well, and be on our merry opposite ways.

      Twitch away.

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